Being in the Moment
So it seems you agree: If we are to honor children in the most loving and Christian way possible, we need to radically rethink how we treat them. In order to figure out how to show them love and give them a great time, we’ll begin by remembering what exactly it was that we loved to do.
When people think back on the wonderful times in their lives, they often describe how time felt like it passed very quickly. They’ll recall a wonderful conversation where one of the participants happened to look at a clock, and say, “Wow! It’s 4 in the morning!” They’ll finish up playing an exciting game and say, “I can’t believe so much time passed!” At Vanderkamp, we describe this feeling as “being in the moment,” and seek to nurture it whenever possible. We also believe that the presence of the Holy Spirit is most obvious when one is engaged in these incredible experiences. When truly in the moment, one stops worrying about things out of one’s control – the past, the future – and opens oneself to the presence of God. With many of the people we talk to, however, this phenomenon seems to happen less frequently as they grow older.
One man I asked said the following, “When I was a kid, my mom could never even find us at dinner time. We weren’t trying to be late, but we’d just lose track of time when we were playing baseball, or riding our bicycles, or whatever. She’d be real[sic] mad when we got back, but we didn’t know better. Kids today don’t do that stuff enough anymore.” I agreed, but then I asked if he still did those things. He answered, “Well no, I guess not. I got[sic] work, grand kids, I don’t have time for all that anymore.”
The question then becomes – why would one modify one’s life to do less of these things that one is so passionate about that time loses meaning? At Vanderkamp, we do not believe that people make this choice intentionally. To return to this gentleman’s example – why was it so important to his mother that he return at a certain time? It’s very likely that the family had prepared a meal, and that they had an arrangement for everyone to be home at a certain time. The mother could very easily explain why the child could not continue to play outside, and it’s unlikely that the child would feel resentful.
We believe that adult intervention can be one of the main things that erode a child’s ability to be in the moment. Adults have so many plans for children, from how they should spend their time, to whom their friends should be, to what interests and hobbies are appropriate. Adults are especially concerned with the way children communicate. Adults have good reason to be concerned in some cases. Indeed, sometimes all people exercise poor judgment and could benefit from certain guidelines to keep them emotionally and physically safe. But what about all of those other restrictions, and those other plans?
At Vanderkamp, we stress that our counselors only intervene and take a child out of the moment if the child is putting himself in harm’s way, causing emotional or physical harm to someone else, or inhibiting another camper’s ability to have a good time. We have decided, for instance, not to worry about “inside voices” unless someone is bothered by it or trying to sleep. Children often raise their voices because they are extremely excited about what they are talking about; why would I ever want to pull them out of that feeling of excitement just because their volume was 2 or 3 decibels above my ideal level? It also means that we are happy to take a child out of the moment if he is initiating force against someone else. We call taking a child out of the moment “creating a point of tension,” and make sure that our counselors have an excellent reason to create a point of tension before doing so.
When given to their own devices, children are capable of being in the moment with so much of their time. They invent games with objects that seem inane to adults. They have long conversations that some adults would consider idle chatter. We believe these activities are absolutely crucial to children and their development. They are exploring their passions, practicing human interaction, being in awe of God’s creation, and simply having fun.
Our strategy, therefore, is to create an extremely nutrient-rich environment for them to flourish – a retreat from the rest of the world. We provide guidelines for activities, but then participate actively when possible instead of lording over the activity dictatorially. During each “activity period,” we attempt to present children with diverse options that allow them to pursue their individual interests. If it is obvious that none of the options are palatable, the remaining children are then given more options to see if anything suits their fancy. While rare, occasionally children choose to sit and watch another activity while talking with each other. When this happens, we realize that we need to ask kids for more ideas about what would interest them, and we then hold a meeting among staff members to come up with creative activities that might pique the children’s interests more directly.
To accomplish our goal of keeping children in the moment, we mindfully present options to engage them throughout the day while being sure we are not pressuring them to take us up on any of our offerings. We offer time for children to engage in what Dr. John Medina calls in his book Brain Rules for Baby “Structured, Imaginative play,” an activity that has general guidelines but no linear progression or enforced timetable. In one activity, we told the children who wished to participate that they were in ancient tribes, tasking them to create as much or as little of a fictitious culture as they wanted. 
This involved some painting their faces and bodies, some coming with their own names and languages, some coming up with songs and drum beats, and some only modestly participating but demonstrating that they really loved just feeling a part of the activity. Structured and imaginative play is so important, especially for children who are used to being told how to play, because it points them in a direction for them to use their creativity without spelling out for them exactly how the activity must go. Campers from the ages of 8 to 17 participated in this activity and had a wonderful time. Staff members enthusiastically participated as well, but no one was told during the activity that there were any “rules” to follow. Some children were having so much fun that they stayed and continued to beat on drums and charcoal themselves for a half an hour after the activity time was scheduled to go, and they were celebrated for doing so!
In short, the Vanderkamp Method calls for staff members to be facilitators and excited participants – constantly presenting options for children to be in any given moment that they want while only intervening and creating a point of tension when absolutely necessary. As one camper put it, “I can’t believe it’s already dinner! Today went by so fast, but we did so much today that I guess it should be dinner!” She spoke to exactly what we are trying to facilitate: that unique “camp” feeling that time flew by a lot more quickly than you thought, but that your days felt so full that everything feels just right.
